I am trying to remind myself that again and again nowadays. It's nice to have feelings. It's nice to experience love. It's alright that it needs to be over and you still can't stop thinking about a specific person. It's hard to date nowadays. I don't know if it has ever been easy, if it is the society, if it is the technology or if we are going to a downfall altogether since individualism becomes the norm. Probably all true but doesn't matter. A simple fact remains: It's hard to date nowadays. It's also hard to make friends nowadays. I try to be friendly but then I turn into an aggressively friendly person. I try to stop and then I turn into an antisocial. I don't know where the balance lies and I don't know how to figure it out. It's hard to start over and decide to a country where you are going to be minority. A well-known minority. A Turkish person. A Turkish person in Western Europe. There are people literally calling us "cockroaches" as if we infested their country. It's not different than being a Syrian in Turkey so I am not going to go ahead and tell that these people are racist. They obviously are, but then who isn't? It would be nice to be a Dutch girl. A tall one with blonde hair. It would make things easier, that's for certain. I meet all kinds of interesting people here. I talk to them because that's what I do. I interview. I learn. I do that even if people Tall Escort Girl Tumblr ask questions back to me sometimes. It can be more comforting not to explain. But then sometimes it's comforting to explain. It's all about the balance. I met this old German-Dutch dude. I actually didn't meet with him. I literally live with him. The thing that is actually different with Western European dudes and Turkish dudes is, they can be clean. There is more of a chance of finding a clean guy comparing to Turkey. Now I have to convince a psychiatrist so that they would test me. It would explain the obsessions too. Anyways, this German-Dutch dude is a traveller. He's been travelling for the last 20 years but he still was no so aware that sometimes, for some people it's not so easy to find Tall Escort Girl Tumblr job or get a visa. Sometimes you have to work. I feel like that's a difference that I feel very deeply when I am with Western European white people. It feels like anything is possible for them, and they are definitely aware of that. They actually are on a higher place in the Maslow's hierarchy. They discover their purpose, they discover themselves. They actually do shit, and they are happy.
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